Healing Homebirth After Previous Trauma - Shani

After my first daughter, Romie’s planned FBC turned hospital birth which involved intervention and left me with trauma, I was determined to change how our next birth went. This birth was raw and so healing, it left me feeling incredibly empowered and in awe. Birth is so magical when left alone.

BIRTH OF KAIA

It was the morning of Saturday the 9th of November. I was 41+4. I woke up with some mild cramping around 7am and a text from my Midwife with a date for my next scheduled appointment at FSH MFAU, to discuss induction. I replied with ‘Hopefully won’t need the appointment, I’ve been cramping, have lots of pressure and had a blood tinged show’. I popped on my Tens Machine (hired from Alana) and laboured on the ball, walked around the kitchen bench and bathroom sink. Looking back, I couldn’t find a ‘happy medium’ with the Tens Machine, the Boost button seemed to intensify my contractions, so I found myself lowering the Boost constantly, then turning it up etc. I did however like the continuous feeling of it just on a low setting.

By Midday, I’d moved to the bathroom, ;eating over the sink and towel rack. Each contraction, I had my head down, I was drowning and had to really lean into it and focus on my breath. I was no longer talking, that’s when Caleb knew it was time to call everyone. My birth team included my Midwife, student Midwife, Birth Photographer and MIL (see was there to keep an eye on Romie, our 2.5 yo).

My Midwife arrived around 1pm, Id not long gotten into the birth pool, the water was such a beautiful, warm relief and provided so much comfort, along with my two combs, one in each hand. My contractions were powerful and each wave had me focusing on my breath and visualising my baby

“My contractions were powerful and each wave had me focusing on my breath and visualising my baby”

By 2pm, everyone had arrived, Romie was in and out of the birth pool, she’d snacked on her tiny teddies, the dog was walking around, loving all the extra people in our home, having no clue what was to come.

My timeline of events is quite fuzzy, as I felt like the birth was such an out of body experience and I was in a time warp, but around 3pm, I started having involuntary pushing with each contraction. They were so strong and intense, guttural noises, pushing down and swaying my hips brought me some relief with each wave. I could feel myself filling with doubt, the pressure of my baby’s head stretching me was incredably overwhelming and I was trying to escape it, so my student midwife’s words of encouragement and little reminder to breathe, couldn’t have come at a better time, it helped ground and bring me back to surrendering to the process.

“another wave hit me and there was nothing I could do but breath and groan through it, it stopped me in my tracks”

With each wave and stretching sensation, the intensity increased and before we knew it, I could feel her head had been birthed, which brought some relief and so much excitement, knowing I was close to meeting my baby. My Midwife asked me to hop out of the pool, as the next contractions hadn’t progressed to the birth of her body, but as I stood up, another wave hit me and there was nothing I could do but breath and groan through it, it stopped me in my tracks. I could feel that she had finally arrived, It was 3:53pm, she weighed 4.5kg. Luckily my two midwives caught her, just above the water, I picked her up and we sat back down in the pool, I stared at her for what felt like an eternity, it was absolute bliss!

I hopped out of the bath, with assistance from Caleb and my Midwives and lied down on my couch, where Caleb cut the cord, once it had turned white. My Midwives checked me over and decided it was best to transfer me into FSH as the thought I had a third degree tear. I got to the hospital around 6pm, had a spinal block and my tear was repaired. I stayed the night and got home the following day. I wouldn’t change anything about my labour or birth, yes, I would have preferred to hop into the shower and bed after her birth as a family of four, but I got to birth her at home, in my space, with my people and that’s all that matters.

Im forever grateful to my partner Caleb, my CMP midwives, student midwife, my birth photographer who is also a friend, it was so nice having a familiar face document such an important day of our lives, the staff at FSH - they were incredible, the OB who repaired me was the same OB I saw at my 41 wee check in MAFAU, she had a quiet confidence about her and of course Alana, what a wonderful woman, armed with a wealth of knowledge, thankyou for your course and all your invaluable information and planting the seed of having Romie at the birth of her little sister

Images: @antjemclaughlanphotography